Substantial fixes for listen & dialers.

At this point listening and dialing operations appear to function properly.
As part of this I had to break the close logic up since otherwise we had a
loop trying to reap a thread from itself.  So there is now a separate reaper
thread for pipes per-socket.  I also changed lists to be a bit more rigid,
and allocations now zero memory initially.  (We had bugs due to uninitialized
memory, and rather than hunt them all down, lets just init them to sane zero
values.)

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